wolf

i tried to meet you in the clearing of my mind
but you came and took the flowers right out of my hands
asked me to describe my feelings, and said you didn't understand
how could you be so pretty, so honest, so strange
if you didn't want me then what was the point to your hungry gaze

we are in roads, walking together
slowly towards a destination unknown
help me find it, i'll help you find it
we are going home

i cried wolf but i let people understand
there is nothing in this world i could withstand
i'd rather take your teeth, and leave us gasping in pain
your eyes that wrote the passion right into my skin
and let me feel, feel softly

we are in roads, walking together
slowly towards a destination unknown
help me find it, i'll help you find it
we are going home

Without Measure Grace

You put me in pursuit of all earthly desire,
Washed by taste of fruit and psalms, 
Romantic and unbridled carried me,
Out and over and over and on,
I lie in precipice when your words,
Fall to my skin and touch upon soul,
I feel a heat, of which, I've never known,
To taste of your lips as they curl,
Around the space of a curve, upside,
And down, to purse carefully, surely,
Full of intent, your hands act as pointer,
Of accusation and restraint,
As they follow the walls of my heart,
Flatly beguiling my one true self,
As I fall under your unearthly charm.

threadbare

you are a dirty net curtain
i'll brush your pain aside
you hide all of the splendour
that you bury deep inside
your flimsy paper body
doesn't hide all of your sins
behind the changing screen
we are rotting outwards in

it's like every time i hold you
we are lying to ourselves
if i were a little bolder
i would tell you there's no sense
in prolonging all the anguish
it's inevitable, we're dying
to get richer, but all of us die poor

i'll take you in the closet
we can lock all of the doors
hide our faces from each other
we don't know us anymore
it's like i second guessed you
and we're failing to pretend
they say love it lasts forever
but we're trailing to an end
if you rip off my crooked smile
and touch all of my scars
if we were honest with ourselves
we'd see that everyone's alone

it's like every time i hold you
we are lying to ourselves
if i were a little bolder
i would tell you there's no sense
in prolonging all the anguish
it's inevitable, we're dying
to get richer, but all of us die poor

if i could paint a picture
of darkness over-worn
it hurts to love someone
when they're dying to be gone
if our fate is one another
the be all, and the end
just know i wont ever love you
and i never really did.

sara iii

i want her to bite me
gnaw me, feed on my raw meat
teeth stained with blood
wash her hair in my anatomy
chunks of my skin in her nails
her saliva to read part me,
but mostly i want to be
flecks of spittle on her lip
just to be licked and swallowed back in
i want bits of my bone and sinew
to lie in her cellar disposed
like the evidence, of passion
huddled in clothes
would to be her lungs i could
hold her breath in my soul
one cell in molecular symphony
with all those interposed with blood
lines like coke to snort up her nose
shimmer in her airways like particles of dust
tickle her cilia to sit on her chest and
turn into a cough
sit in her eyelashes to have her
wish me away
see her shed me in a flurry of cells
back down the drain
allow admittance to her pores and her veins
make friends with her ventricles
supply oxygen to her brain

i want her to murder me, secretly in
the dark- acid bath my body
to cover it up, when parents look for
me to secretly laugh
to know i'm nothing now but a few
specks of blood, feel her heart
race to think of the part when she
cut me into bits, to make an
easier task
live the moment she realises i'm gone
just to carry on hitting me cause she
can't hold it in
i want her to pummel her rage
into my face, i want to hold out my wrists
and let her take skin shapes
i want to throw back my head and
embrace her hold, around my neck
until my body is cold i want to
hang on her wall, over her bed
a sacrificial pose like the body of christ
nail my hands to her post
in murderous rage
the tattoo of her heart- in her ribcage
to pay homage to her part
on the stage of a passion of crime
in an obsessive way
i want her to take me
any way she might please
i want to be of use, my beloved
my blessed, be.

sara ii

i loved you like a Fleetwood Mac song
all ankle boots and jangly bracelets
your baggy t-shirt, overlong
doesn't hide any of your secrets
i had an idea to hold you
would have sat silent at your feet
just to hear your praise
and kiss the space in-between

i know that you're heavy with him
he's made you fat like an overripe peach
(still not i know his name,
inconsequential as he is)
made you round and tame
like you're diseased within
this private thing you're holding,
a belly full of lies
i hate that you're swollen
that you'll continue his bloodlines
i don't care if it sounds hateful
don't pick out any names
i would have you miscarry
i am just that inhumane

i hate that you might become sober
might be any less of a pain
that one day you'll be a mother and
lose that step which seems so free
your expressive soft treaded gait
become so dull and ordinary
encumbered by the weight
of offspring yet to be
i want you as you are now
the crunch in autumns stop
a heady moody slumber
which tends to forget
my very own sara, poet
in my heart you might be
i want to play you love songs
the sound of my loneliness in dreams

if, by chance i'm wrong
and you've just gained
some kind of softness
i would hold you in both hands
and kiss all of your fullness
my body would hold the weight of you
there's nothing i would see you lose
you couldn't pry away my fingers
from your soft middle, in proof
i'd feed you sweets and dinner
just to have more of you
if i could hold you in handfuls
cherry pick is what i'd do
spread you out like a banquet
i'd give you the finest fruit
feed you by hand apricots
with the intent to pollute
that sickening desire the
thought of child within
for as i cannot give you my own
i'd commit this mortal sin

birdmad

she was the year i went colourblind
the pixels stuck in my eyes
like my propensity to rhyme
her hair choked me, absolutely wrote me
into a drain, matted down in the bath
her lips disdained me, curled around
pointed teeth which would mar me
her wicked tongue which would teach me
to be unloved in no uncertain terms
her eyes that seemed dead inside
made me only want to light her
take her brittle bird bones and pursue her
beautiful though she was unusual
the kind of cold you only get from
unloving fathers and distant mothers
that's not to say she was family
but i always take great joy in
pining for the love that is, so far from easy

bl00dstream

i'd let you suck the pulse out of my neck

let you in my airways to steal my breath

i don't care that your bloodstream

might not match with mine

i'll go out of my way to be your type

i'm nothing without you

a lonely wall without a roof

i can't tear my eyes

because they're yours to keep

i'm keeping time on your hips

clocking every time you twitch

the bounce in your step

makes the soles of my feet

start to itch

there's no sweeter cohesion 

than the space between your lips

if your tongue were mine

every bite and every sip

would roll perfectly 

from start to tip

there are things that dreams forget

like the ring i gave to you

when you stood by my side

in urgent christian manner

and became my wife

i'd stand in front of god for you

let any holy ghost seep through

attest my faith in anything

just to share in your name

and hear your choir of angels sing