sara iii

i want her to bite me
gnaw me, feed on my raw meat
teeth stained with blood
wash her hair in my anatomy
chunks of my skin in her nails
her saliva to read part me,
but mostly i want to be
flecks of spittle on her lip
just to be licked and swallowed back in
i want bits of my bone and sinew
to lie in her cellar disposed
like the evidence, of passion
huddled in clothes
would to be her lungs i could
hold her breath in my soul
one cell in molecular symphony
with all those interposed with blood
lines like coke to snort up her nose
shimmer in her airways like particles of dust
tickle her cilia to sit on her chest and
turn into a cough
sit in her eyelashes to have her
wish me away
see her shed me in a flurry of cells
back down the drain
allow admittance to her pores and her veins
make friends with her ventricles
supply oxygen to her brain

i want her to murder me, secretly in
the dark- acid bath my body
to cover it up, when parents look for
me to secretly laugh
to know i'm nothing now but a few
specks of blood, feel her heart
race to think of the part when she
cut me into bits, to make an
easier task
live the moment she realises i'm gone
just to carry on hitting me cause she
can't hold it in
i want her to pummel her rage
into my face, i want to hold out my wrists
and let her take skin shapes
i want to throw back my head and
embrace her hold, around my neck
until my body is cold i want to
hang on her wall, over her bed
a sacrificial pose like the body of christ
nail my hands to her post
in murderous rage
the tattoo of her heart- in her ribcage
to pay homage to her part
on the stage of a passion of crime
in an obsessive way
i want her to take me
any way she might please
i want to be of use, my beloved
my blessed, be.